Monday, June 23, 2008

Premarital Sex: Is it Love or Sin?

Sex is not limited to sharing a special moment with that special someone anymore. Sex has expanded to a lot of different aspects in our lives. Everyone says "sex sells" and it does. There are provocative girls dancing in music videos, seductive lyrics in music, racy commercials for the most random products that have nothing to do with sex, and sex is shown as casual in television and movies. But for those who care, and see sex as something more, is premarital sex OK in God's eyes when you're in love or is it still a sin?

There are A LOT more passages in the Bible that say all
premarital sex is a sin. (For example, "But that we write unto them, that they abstain from pollutions of idols, and from fornication, and from things strangled, and from blood." (Acts 15:20), "Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness, full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whispers," (Romans 1:29), "It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication is not so much as named amongst the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife." (1 Corinthians 5:1), "Meats for the belly, and he belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body." (1 Corinthians 6:13), "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body." (1 Corinthians 6:18), "Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband." (1 Corinthians 7:2), "Neither let us commit fornication, as some of them committed, and full in one day three and twenty thousand." (1 Corinthians 10:8), "And lest, when I come again, my God will humble me among you, and that I shall bewail many which have sinned already, and have not repeated of the uncleanness and fornication and lasciviousness which they have committed." (2 Corinthians 12:21), "Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness," (Galatians 5:19), "But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named amongst you, as becometh saints;" (Ephesians 5:3), "Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry." (Colossians 3:5), "For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication." (1 Thessalonians 4:3), "Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them, in like manner giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the veneance of eternal fire." (Jude 7).)

So obviously, there are a lot of passages that say fornication, or voluntary sexual intercourse between two unmarried persons or two persons not married to each other, no matter what, is wrong and is a sin. I don't need to elaborate more. These passages speak for themselves. However, they are not the direct words of God. These passages come from people giving their opinions or "advice" to people. God gave us the Ten Commandments to live by and the only thing that comes close to fornication is adultery, but that is when a married person is unfaithful to their other half; it has nothing to do with premarital sex.

There are passages that speak of love and seem in favor of having sex if you're in love with your partner. (For example, "Owe no man any thing, but to love one another; for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law. For this, thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet, and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. Love worketh no ill to his neighbour; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law." (Romans 13:8-10), "Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of a harlot? God forbid." (1 Corinthians 6:15), "Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins." (Proverbs 10:12), "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:8), "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." (1 John 4:18).)

Thus, all of these scriptures reveal that sex is in fact not a sin. Sex makes two people become one in God's sight and that is not a bad thing. Adam and Eve did not get married before they had sex and God meant for it to happen that way. If "love covers over a multitude of sins," and if you love your partner, love will smother the sin of having premarital sex (if it is in fact even a sin). As quoted in the last scripture from John, if you love someone there is no fear. There should be no fear that you are going to hell for having sex with the person you love. If you love someone and have deep mutual feelings, how can God see that as wrong?

Now I may be making excuses and trying to dig deep and find "loopholes" in the Bible to make myself feel better about having premarital sex. However, the more I research, the more I know it's not a sin. I've never regretted having sex with the man I love, even though we're not married. Even if we never get married, I still won't regret it because he is my first true love and I cannot deny my feelings.

But hopefully, for those of you out there who feel the way I do - that when love is right, sex is right no matter if you're married or not - I have made you feel a little better as well. There should be no shame or guilt in having sex when you love someone. You do not need a piece of paper and this worldly law to make it true and pure. God's law says to love and you should never deny that.

SONG OF THE DAY: Leona Lewis-I Will Be

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